Vital Information
by K.K. Phoenix
Summary: These are a set of rules that will help you survive when knowing Sasuke Uchiha. Please read and review. If you are against these types of things, please kindly move on to another fic.


Author's Note: I don't own Naruto. I was thinking about that show All That. And this came to me, a skit on that show was "Vital Information." So that's why I'm writing this weird thing. It's sort of kind a list of ways not to annoy Sasuke but a little different. Also, Sasuke is one of my favorite characters, so I'm sorry if anyone thinks that the bashing is too much. I'll edit it and repost it it's too cruel.

**Vital Information**

o.O.O.o.o.O.O.o

This guide is set for you to survive in a forest, jungle, restaurant, etc..with Sasuke Uchiha.

1) If you tell your friend their hairstyle looks like crap, they may change it. If you tell Sasuke his hairstyle looks like a rooster's ass, he will light someone's ass on fire.

2) If you poke your friend, they will react. If you poke Sasuke, he will bite your hand off.

3) Playing "Marco Polo" is fun in the pool. Playing "Sasuke Uchiha" in not fun in the pool it will land you an injury.

4) If you know a guy named Naruto, good for you. If Sasuke knows you know Naruto..well it was nice knowing you.

5) Taking a friend to a psychiatrist will help them with their problems. Taking Sasuke to a psychiatrist will help him become even more emo.

6) Saying "Believe It" is cool with Naruto. Saying "Believe it" is not cool with Sasuke. Please have a hospital bed ready for you.

7) You ask your friend if they're emo, they'll answer. You ask Sasuke if he's emo,...Medic! Can we please get the medic here?

8) Tell Naruto he's so pretty he could've been a girl, he might agree with you. Tell Sasuke he is a girl, he will punch someone out.

9) You cheerlead in high school. Here's a good cheer. S is his smexiness, A is his ass, S is his strutting, U is for his umbrella, K is for his kiss, E is for Eeep there he is. Just remember that this cheer will make Sasuke move out of the country, change his name, assuming a new identity.

10) Putting ketchup on your popcorn chicken will make it tasty. Putting ketchup on Sasuke's head will make him angry where he steals your chicken from you.

11) Stalking your friend might seem like fun to you. Stalking Sasuke will land you in the place you started out in, the hospital.

12) At a bachelor party the guy tends to have girls strip for them. At Sasuke's bachelor party maybe...No comment...

13) As a child, you might've watched Sesame Street, Barney, Arthur etc... As a child, Sasuke didn't own a tv and still doesn't.

14) Singing "I love you, you love me" might scare some of your friends. Singing "I love Sasuke, Sasuke loves me" will indefinitely scare Sasuke.

15) If you own a refrigerator, it will be running. If you own a Sasuke, he will be running away.

16) Listening to Michael Jackson's songs might sound cool to you. Listening to Orochimaru torture Sasuke is not cool.

17) If you sing "Sasuke and Naruto sitting in a tree, k i s s i n g" your friends will laugh. If you sing that to Sasuke, he will beat Naruto to a pulp.

18) Making a guy friend of yours wear a pink dress is funny. Making Sasuke wear a dress makes him gay. But pretty. Be careful he doesn't sing the song "I feel pretty."

19) If you ask your friend if they like sugar, they will most likely agree too. If you ask Sasuke if he likes sugar, he will most likely kidnap you, throw you in the ocean, and lock you up in the sugar imporium.

20) People go to jail for committing crimes. Sasuke goes to jail for looking like a chicken head.

21) If you buy the sharingan on EBAY, that's great for you. If Sasuke sees that you bought the sharingan on EBAY, well that's not so great, seeing that Itachi is watching from behind.

22) If you catch one of your friends talking to themself, they might need to talk to someone. If you catch Sasuke talking to himself, he might need to kill someone.

23) If you're going to the nail salon, you might take a friend along. If Sasuke is going to the nail salon, he might take Itachi along in secret of course.

24) If you keep asking your friend "Why?" every second, they get annoyed. If you keep asking Sasuke "Why?" he will use the frying pan and smack you across your head.

25) If your friend wants your help in finding a date you'll help. If Sasuke wants your help in finding a date, call 1-800-SNAP-CRACKLE-POP, the Rice Krispies will be delighted to help him.

26) If you feel that your friend is crazy, take them to an asylum. If Sasuke is crazy, call 1-800-EMO-IS-COCO-PUFFS, they do great work.

Be sure to have followed all of the vital information for a possible future to live in.

o.O.O.o.o.O.O.o

Author's Note: Please read and review. Hope it was funny. Pointless, I know that. But I remembered that crazy segment in All That.


End file.
